Well it's that time again for your 'weekly fun' and this week I thought you might all be needing some cheering up with the last minute christmas panic upon us, so grab a cuppa and enjoy the laughs!
Do you take cash or credit???
Last night, my friends and I went to our local Bingo Club as they put on some male dancers for us.
One of the women wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a 10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the 10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a 20 note. She called the dancer back, licks the 20 note and sticks it to his other butt-cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a 50 note, calls the guy over and licks the 50 note.
I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me!!!
Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the 50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet...... What could I do????
The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass and grabbed the eighty pounds!
The 10 commandments of Bingo
1. Thou shall not sit in thy neighbors lucky seat.
2. Thou shall not stare at thy neighbors card.
3. Thou shall not take the Callers name in vain.
4. Thou shall not call false "Bingo".
5. Thou shall not wish bad luck on thy neighbor.
6. Thou shall not threaten to kill the "Caller".
7. Thou shall not steal thy husband's money for Bingo.
8. Thou shall not brag about how much thou hast won.
9. Thou shall not whine about how much thou hast lost.
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's winnings.
Always A Winner!Betty and Hilda, two friends, went together to play the slot machines at their local Bingo Hall. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the Bingo Hall and sit on the bench to wait for her friend. Betty quickly lost all of her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited and waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she saw Hilda coming toward her carrying a huge sack of coins. "Hey, Betty," said Hilda, "how'd you do?" "Well, Hilda", said Betty, "you see me here on this bench- what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though." "Oh yeah," said Betty, "did I find a good machine! It's way in the back. I'll show it to you - you can't lose! EVERY TIME YOU PUT IN A DOLLAR FOUR QUARTERS COME OUT!!!"
